The Unstoppable Virus
by Mannequin Republic
Summary: Sasuke has contracted the deadliest of all viruses and diseases. Goodbye anthrax; sorry HIV. Sasuke's got the weeaboo. "Naru-chan..." Everyone, be afraid. SasuNaru


There were only two circumstances where Sasuke would turn into _kawaii desu boku no Japan _where of which his manliness façade ("It's not a façade!") would break down to show what was hidden underneath.

To discover the inner-softie, either Sasuke had to be,

A) Pissed drunk

Or

B) Hella tired

Despite the raven's playboy tendencies, it surprised more than a few when they found out that the aspiring Uchiha did not drink. Sure, he had his fair share of drinks in his lifetime, but it all stopped when he realised how intolerant he was to the strong, debilitating substance. Many minds had been shocked one night when they saw a pale figure dancing naked while discussing his favourite shounen-ai manga with fellow weeaboos.

Sasuke was painfully embarrassed from that night and promptly decided to quit drinking anything that had the slightest bit of alcohol. It was not worth drinking the burning liquid and then becoming embarrassed because his stupid mouth could not keep itself shut. No one had to know that he read _Junjou Romantica_ and _Loveless _in his spare time. No one. He had been hiding his collection from Naruto over the years they'd been together, and Naruto did not have the slightest inclination that his broody, emo punk-haired boyfriend was into the delicate nature of yaoi manga.

However, when work piled up over the Uchiha princess, coffee became his main source of awakening-stimulant and thus increased his chance of being affected by the deadly, 'hella tired' virus. This was one disease that the raven could not avoid. Running Uchiha Corps was one of the most gruelling jobs out there, especially with how many holidays co-founder, Itachi Uchiha enjoyed.

Sasuke had finally finished the last piece of work before his Christmas holidays begun and was eagerly awaiting the presence of his blonde dobe—_oh no, the Japanese hella tired virus was starting to affect himself mentally_. Naruto had been away for the entire week visiting his step-parents as he couldn't spend Christmas with them. While Sasuke usually tagged along on this annual trip, he had been overloaded with last minute work resignations and piles of papers. Cancelling his ticket, the raven spent the entire week working efficiently on the horrid stack, missing his partner in crime and his butt.

Even though Sasuke was dreadfully tired, he waited in the lounge, his eyes fixated on the clock, counting each second before his lover was destined to come home. Sasuke's ears twitched as he heard the jingle of house keys from the outside of his window as he eagerly brushed off whatever tiredness he felt from his system. The front door creaked open as the Uchiha stood up and walked towards the blonde, trying not to show his excitement.

"Sasuke!" Naruto dropped his baggage on the ground and walked quickly towards his lover. His placed a chaste kiss on his cheek, before he leant his head on the Uchiha's shoulder with a big hug.

Sasuke's tiredness started to kick in as he felt another lapse in his sanity, his _kawaii _state ready to be unleashed. A mewl escaped from the raven's mouth as he rubbed his face in the blonde's soft locks. "Naru-chan.."

Naruto looked up at the raven, slightly startled but smirked nonetheless. It had been awhile since the slightly older man had relapsed into his _all-hail-Japan _state, but the blonde was definitely not complaining. During such an emotional time, Naruto exercised his ability to be the 'top' ("It's called seme, dobe," "I'm not Japanese, you douche!") in the relationship.

"Sasuke, did you have some alcohol?" Naruto asked suspiciously. Naruto suspected that the other's state was due to sleep deprivation as dark circles were evident underneath the Uchiha's eyelids, but the blonde could never be so sure. It felt like only yesterday he was laughing at the misfortune of the naked Uchiha as he discussed pornographic yaoi manga to several female acquaintances.

Sasuke brushed his lips over Naruto's eyebrow as he snuggled himself around Naruto's inviting body. Sasuke's arms curled around the blonde's neck as he lightly brushed his fingers against the immaculate skin, feeling its soft texture and relishing in the fact that he had the most delectable boyfriend. Sasuke took a large breath, sighing in pleasure as he recognised Naruto's inherent scent. It had definitely been a taxing week without his Naruto. The raven's lips brushed over Naruto's foxy scars as he closed his eyes, relaxing now that the blonde was home. "Why would you say that?"

Naruto sighed in bliss, it really wasn't a bad thing when Sasuke went all weeaboo, it usually occurred in him becoming this cute little angel that provided the love and affection that Sasuke's stony persona usually lacked.

One other aspect that sleep deprivation or the intoxication of alcohol incurred within the intelligent Uchiha was the fact that his English was not affected at all. It was as though the raven's mindset was still the same but was at least ten times more excited about all things Japanese.

"Ah… ah, no reason," Naruto moaned slightly as Sasuke's tongue hovered over his sensitive neck. Naruto's hands clenched Sasuke's flimsy pyjamas as he ached to take whatever was going on back to the bedroom – so that Sasuke could finally sleep.

Despite how cute Sasuke was when he entered _kawaii _mode, Naruto cared enough for his loveable asshole to make sure that he retained proper sleeping habits.

"I-idiot, come let's go rest, you're in your kawaii mood again," Naruto whispered against Sasuke's cheek. The raven flinched slightly as he looked towards at Naruto, his eyes narrowed.

"What are you talking about, dob—" Sasuke cut himself off before he used the dreaded word.

Naruto rolled his eyes as he took a few steps back, regaining some semblance of normality. "Don't tell me you're trying to hide your weeaboo state."

Sasuke looked affronted and slowly started to cross his arms over his chest in an indignant manner. "Hn. Usuratonkachi—God damnit," Sasuke groaned before he started whacking himself in the head with his hand.

"Whoa, whoa, hold it, hot stuff. I don't know what a tonne of catching Asuras are, but I'm sure it doesn't require the bashing of heads," Naruto stepped forward and grabbed Sasuke's hand. "Besides, are you trying to tell me that you thought I didn't know about your Japanese fetishes?" The blonde snorted. Sasuke's collection of yaoi was almost too obvious. The space underneath a bed really does not count as a proper hiding spot.

"Fetishes, please. I don't know what you're talking about, and if you would excuse me I'm going to go to bed," Sasuke muttered. He was embarrassed. He was horribly and irrevocably embarrassed. The Japanese syndrome he contracted as a child, while not contagious, was something he was completely embarrassed about. What would the world do if they found out that Sasuke Uchiha had an obsession with yaoi manga? Obviously nothing, but Sasuke could never be too sure.

"Seriously Sasuke? It's been awhile since your last relapse, but I've known about _Akihiko_ and _Misaki _and all the things they do with teddy bears on their beds," Naruto smirked at the startled expression on Sasuke's face. "Yep, I've seen your collection. Read many, in fact."

"Oh no.." Sasuke took a step back in fear.

"Don't look so afraid, Sasuke…chan," Naruto grinned at the look on the Uchiha's face. "I won't tell anyone."

Sasuke let out a deep breath that he didn't even know he was holding. He knew he could count on his blonde.

"Although, some of these positions are really kinky, don't you think?" Naruto pulled a copy of one of Sasuke's favourite manga from his pocket and flipped to a random page. "I mean, is it even possible for someone's legs to be stretched back that far? And don't even get me started on how anatomically incorrect yaoi hands tend to be!"

Sasuke just looked at the blonde, constantly in shock. Who knew that Naruto kept a spare copy of one of his yaoi manga?

"Your face looks constantly surprised, I now see why everyone thinks you're the _what-was-it_, ah yes, the uke in this relationship," Naruto mused.

Naruto should have had the foresight to see what the so-called 'innocent' comment would've induced within the self-conscious raven. Yet, without a moment's hesitation, said raven proceeded to stalk right up to the blonde with a few words of, "_I'll show you who's the uke!_" and decided that sleep deprivation was not nearly important enough to stop his tirade of exclaiming his dominance.

Seme Naruto? Maybe next time.

* * *

Just a little, quick thing for you guys since Christmas is coming and I am on holidays. (Which means, free time!11!1) I have also read way too many depressing fics that haven't been updated in years and decided to cheer myself up.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed this tiny fic.  
-Sarah


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